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    讀張賢亮《綠化樹》有感

    【“在清水里泡三次,在血水里浴三次,在堿水里煮三次”,盡管命運那雙翻云覆雨之手仍然讓章永璘跌宕在生命的波峰浪谷間,但是,愛情,還有生命嚴冬中認識的這些普通如馬纓花、海喜喜、謝隊長等普通勞動人民,給予他的素樸真愛和關懷,冰冷年代里的溫情,猶如熠熠閃光的明燈,照亮了人性之美、生命之美,支撐著男主人公也是支撐著張賢亮迎來了歷史的轉折、人生的春天。】

     

    愛情,如此美好

    ——讀張賢亮《綠化樹》有感

     

    說已故著名作家張賢亮沒有談過戀愛,沒有真正經歷過愛情,我是不相信的。

    在他的小說《綠化樹》里,他寫的愛情可以說是我看過的關于愛情的最好描寫。一樣的公子落難,美人相助,可是在張賢亮的筆下,愛情卻是如江南春雨,旖旎柔美;如秋日的高原風,粗糲中飽含深情;如冬日的雪花,輕盈素潔。在以“人生回望式”主題寫作的小說中,男主人公身上大多帶有張賢亮的自傳式經歷。一個能夠把愛情描摹得如此美麗、如此動人的人,他對愛情應當是有著深刻理解的。

    《綠化樹》講的是1961年冬天,寒風凜冽、冬意蕭索中,主人公章永璘剛剛經歷了勞教,作為“自由勞動者”分配到一個西北偏遠的農場。作為一個從小生長在優越家庭環境,出身于所謂的資產階級家庭的知識分子,在上世紀50、60年代那場“反右”、“右派擴大化”等運動中,更因為寫過一些據說比較反動的詩歌,從而被劃為右派,成了勞改犯,經受無產階級的改造和專政。“我怎么落到現在的地步”,在小說里,主人公多處發出了這樣的自我疑問。帶著這樣的自我困惑以及被勞改受盡管制的自卑章永璘到了農場。

    應該說,在那個自然環境和政治環境同樣惡劣的偏遠山村,主人公充滿了精神的苦悶,但是比精神苦悶更加難熬的是物質的極端匱乏,食不果腹衣不蔽體。這個時候,女主人公馬纓花出現了。這是一個生活在西北農村據說是撒馬爾罕后裔的美麗女子。“首先讓我驚奇的是她面龐上那南國女兒的特色:眼睛秀麗,眸子亮而靈活,睫毛很長,可以想象它覆蓋下來時,能夠摩擦到她的兩顴。鼻梁纖巧,但很挺直,肉色的鼻翼長得非常精致;嘴唇略微寬大,卻極有表現力……她的皮膚比一般婦女黑,但很光滑,只是在鼻子兩側有些不惜那演的雀斑。她的下眼瞼也有一圈淡淡的青色,這淡淡的青色,使她美麗的黑色的眸子表現出一種令人難以忘懷的深情”,在主人公的眼里,第一次見面的馬纓花無疑是美的。

    但是,更讓章永璘感激的是,馬纓花善良、率真、潑辣、爽朗的性格。沒有吃的,馬纓花以“打爐子”為借口主動邀請章永璘到自己家里,不怕同村人的譏笑和誹謗,雖然懷著深深的同情和憐憫,但是這已經足夠讓處于極端饑餓中的章永璘感恩、感激的了。他這樣描寫在馬纓花家里吃到第一個白面饃饃的情景:“我慢慢地把饃饃拿起來。……我一點點地啃著、嚼著,啃著、嚼著……盡量表現得很斯文。我已經有四年沒有吃過白面做的面食了——而我統共才活了二十五年。它宛如外面飄落的雪花,一進我的嘴就融化了。它沒有經過發酵,還飽含著小麥花的芬芳,飽含著夏日的陽光,飽含著高原的令人心醉的泥土氣,飽含著收割時的汗水,飽含著一切食物的原始的香味……忽然,我在上面發現了一個非常清晰的指紋印!它就印在白面饃饃的表皮上,非常非常的清晰,從它的大小,我甚至能辨認出來它是個中指的指印。從紋路來看,它是一個“羅”,而不是“箕”,一圈一圈的,里面小,向外漸漸地擴大,如同春日湖塘上小魚喋起的波紋。波紋又漸漸蕩漾開去,蕩漾開去……噗!我一顆清亮的淚水滴在手中的饃饃上了。”正是這烙印下如同春日湖塘上小魚喋起的波紋的手指,讓困苦中的章永璘永遠記住了馬纓花的這份患難中的知遇之情。到后來也忘不了“那寶石般的中指紋,已經溶進了我的血液中,成了我變為一種新的人的因素”。

    但是,真正的愛情并不是同情或者憐憫。馬纓花雖然同情章永璘作為讀書人受到的種種不公正待遇,“遭受的種種罪”,但是要上升到愛情的層面,還需要一種精神上的相通和感性上的認同。一直熱戀著馬纓花的車把式海喜喜,因為馬纓花的“移情別戀”吃醋,在一次出車中,想用勞動、用鞭稍給章永璘一點“顏色”,章永璘憑著極大的耐力經受住了海喜喜提出的勞動挑釁并出色完成任務,在被海喜喜抽了一鞭稍,并且受到辱罵的時候,終于忍無可忍,迎頭回擊,和海喜喜打了一架,“瘋狂”地要用四齒叉扎海喜喜,忙亂中用腳狠狠踢了海喜喜一腳,作為“鞭稍”的回敬,在周圍人看來是“兩頂啦”。至此,馬纓花才真正愛上了章永璘,說“你,倒挺像咱們的人”,同時表現出“特別容光煥發,流連的目光比往常更為熾熱,那迅捷眨動的長睫毛有一種愛嬌的意味。她線條秀麗的嘴唇不說話時也微張著,仿佛表示著某種驚奇與渴望。”在這里,勞動人民,“筋肉勞動者”,農村婦女馬纓花,已經完全把章永璘看成了經過無產階級的艱苦改造和教育,變成了能勞動,會勞動,也能以暴制暴,用暴力手段維護自己尊嚴的具有撒馬爾罕人的后裔血統的自己人,這就是鄉野農村的生存法則,不是簡單的道理,有時候是需要暴力和野蠻的。當此之際,農村婦女馬纓花對已經改造為“筋肉勞動者”的知識分子章永璘的真正愛情萌發了。

    好感不等于愛情。在極端困苦的情況下,馬纓花用那些珍貴的五谷雜糧,真正的糧食解救了饑餓中的章永璘,更用無私的同情和關懷讓他逐漸找到了做一個正常“人”的感覺,恢復了體力、恢復了活力,更恢復了人的自信。居住在四面透風、寒冷破舊的集體宿舍里,章永璘從同宿舍、命運與他相同的農工那里,感受不到絲毫友誼,相反卻是譏笑、嘲弄,而在馬纓花的家里,章永璘卻感到了朦朧的幸福、愉快、舒適和自由。這是一種好感,雖然愛情可以從此萌芽,但還不是愛情。

    果然,等章永璘逐漸恢復了正常人的自信后,他開始思索關于自己的人生走向,在當時手里唯一一部經典書籍《資本論》以及在冥想中和馬克思一問一答式溝通中的指引下,逐步意識到了真正改造自己就是超越自己,這樣,懷抱對溫柔繾綣、含蓄雋永愛情向往的章永璘,意識到馬纓花的愛情只是直率、明朗、粗獷、激情,同時也意識到了兩人在知識和文化素養上的差距。他的愛情猶豫了。

    形勢急轉直下。當一直眷戀著馬纓花的海喜喜,因為失戀要離開之前勸告章永璘和馬纓花結婚,謝隊長也是在追趕逃跑的海喜喜的風雪火車站同樣勸告章永璘迎娶馬纓花。在這樣的情況下,章永璘向馬纓花提出求婚。本以為馬纓花會欣然同意,但是馬纓花卻沒有同意。理由是不愿意在艱苦的條件下再增加章永璘的負擔,要以不結婚為由,繼續牽引著村里男人的“獻媚”,從他們那里獲得寶貴的糧食,在那個大饑荒年代,用自己的犧牲,換來章永璘的繼續安心讀書,在嚴冬里蓄積力量等待生命的春天來臨。

    愛情終于建立在了平等的基礎上。馬纓花的寥寥數語表白,卻讓章永璘真正震撼。再一次意識到自己和馬纓花的差距,但不是馬纓花配不上自己,而是自己配不上馬纓花。這個粗俗、沒有文化素養的淳樸善良的農村女子,卻具有一種為了愛情、為了愛人的獻身精神,特別是那句“就是鋼刀把我頭砍斷,我血身子還陪著你哩!”,凸顯了馬纓花對于愛情的忠貞和堅定。而自己,這個號稱知識學養深厚、會寫詩歌、會讀書的知識分子,卻從來沒有為了別人、為了所愛的人獻身的精神,心里只有自己。意識到這點,章永璘才覺得自己真正愛上了她,不是感恩,不是感激,而是一種敬佩、理解、疼愛和依戀糅合在一起的復雜感情。

    “在清水里泡三次,在血水里浴三次,在堿水里煮三次”,之后盡管命運那雙翻云覆雨之手仍然讓章永璘跌宕在生命的波峰浪谷間,但是,愛情,還有生命嚴冬中認識的這些普通如馬纓花、海喜喜、謝隊長等普通勞動人民,給予他的素樸真愛和關懷,冰冷年代里的溫情,猶如熠熠閃光的明燈,照亮了人性之美、生命之美,支撐著男主人公也是支撐著張賢亮迎來了歷史的轉折、人生的春天。

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